It’s been awhile, but I am so happy to be back. I started back in the gym today, and I plan on going tomorrow, and I also am going to start the Skinny girl diet, and try to stick to it as best as I can. I have decided to alternate days of Cardio/Weight training. So today I did weights, and tomorrow, I am going to do TRX. :)
I am so fucking anxious right now. I over ate so badly today, basically nothing but carbs and crap. I keep thinking about Josh and I just can’t sleep. He’s the only one in my family that knows about my eating habits and he isn’t even my family anymore. I tell everyone that I don’t hate him, amd that he really is a good guy that is just going through stuff right now, but sometimes I think it would be easier to just hate him. He moved his new girlfriend into his place, and it makes me sick. I’ve started smoking.
Today I ate
- A Sabarro breadstick
- A Red Lobster cheese roll
- An Apple with 2 TBS of Honey Roasted peanut butter
- 3/4 of a Smashed banana and Nutella sandwich
- 1/2 of a Oven roasted chicken leg
It is so much easier to restrict my diet when my family is out of town, not that they pay attention to my diet, but I just eat so much with them, it is hard to say no.
"I know the scars on your legs, I see them in my head, like a map up to you when I’m climbing into bed, and I don’t think that it’s fair that she would lie with you there, and use my directions to get right there next to you.”
Going to the gym, I just needed some encouragement. (: This will be my third day in a row and I am really excited. I am going to work out on the Elliptical for like an hour, because I ate a whole box of Goobers last night at the movies.
I went to TRX this morning and it was such a good workout. I really did my best and I feel SO good about it. Before I went I had a piece of toast with just a little mayo and brown mustard, a slice of turkey and American cheese. When I got home I ate a spinach salad with 3 OZ of chicken meat, some sliced almonds, a quarter of an apple, and a few dried cherries, as well as a kiwi. I am so fully but it feels good because I know it was all “yummy good for you” food. (:
For dinner I ate a half a fit hit bowl from Taco time, some tater tots (like 5) and then I ate some grapes and pineapple (yuck). As a late night snack I had a glass of milk and a small (tiny) Nutella and peanut-butter sandwich on multi-grain toast. I feel good and ready for bed.
I went to Church on Sunday and we sang this, and it has been stuck in my head ever since then.
Whenever I start to feel sad, or miss him, or anything of the sort, I just whisper this to myself.
Today I ate-
- an apple
- a salad with cranberries, blue cheese, almonds and grapes
- chips and salsa
I’m going out tonight with some girls I know and I just want to have a good time.